I was just listening to a program on my local public radio station here in Massachusetts.
The program was about women’s health. And one of the not so surprising aspects is that women do not take care of themselves or put themselves first. The reality is that in not doing that, women who have families relying on them put themselves and their loved ones at greater risk because they are at greater risk for issues such as heart attacks. It’s pretty cut and dry. Stress is a killer. Women think they are super human and they are not. Self care is not a crime. Its a virtue that in the end, serves our families and loved ones as much as tending to them directly.

Another aspect to self care which the interviewee noted is perceived as a sign of weakness, is that as an American culture in particular, we see taking vacations as a sign of weakness. When I lived in Minneapolis, I found the work culture to be very strong. One could not get to work early enough, starting sometimes with breakfast meetings as early as 6:30 and 7:30 breakfast meetings often the norm.

My ex and I often took traveling vacations. And often we were almost scorned at our jobs:
“another trip to France?” We made traveling our personal priority, even though we were perceived as snobs. But that was long before our world become so globalized.

Our culture does not reward us for taking care of ourselves. This is one of the things I so
admire about the French culture, the taking time for time, as Polly Platt has often said.

The French are vehement about their time boundaries. Daily, in most areas outside the major cities, lunch is sacred. And the month long vacation in the summer is a birth right, not something to be ashamed of. These are good things! And you can see the joie de vivre when people take time to talk with their neighbors- stopping their cars, not just waving in passing. A five minute relaxed conversation can be a mini vacation.

A vacation is not a crime. It is a restoration. I started meta vacances when I had newly diagnosed high blood pressure as well as undiagnosed low thyroid. I was dragging through my life and wondering if I was depressed. Then I went to France for the very first time for a whole month, because I was exhausted from swimming up stream. And I was really scared. I had never had any health issues before and here I was, 54 with high blood pressure. I started to seriously meditate and walk to my heart’s content with my new puppy. I felt different. I could feel the changes in me. And I saw that with self care, I was able, within a few months, to lower my blood pressure medicine. This was profound. This was revelation.

One night at the end of the month, just at dusk, I stood looking over my little valley and realized how far I had come. I had made a difference in my life. I was finally, after 5 years, making positive progress after a protacted and difficult divorce. I looked out into the sunset and said to myself, “look how far you have come, look what you have done all on your own”.

And it came to me that perhaps I could empower and encourage other women to do the same. I had never traveled on my own before and here I was- taking a vacation and having an ephiphany that perhaps I could create a safe haven for women to do the same.

And so meta vacances was born.

Now, each time I go to France to work on the workshops or the photo site, I make sure I have some vacation time. Whether its an hour walk after lunch by the river or sitting for a good hour outside at sunset, just staring and watching the clouds roll by, I take a vacation- however mini, and it is not a sign of laziness or weakness, its a sign of self love and personal strength.

I have taken the challenge to make a difference in my life. Think about making a difference in your own. Make yourself number one, and everyone else will benefit from the result as well.